Why do so many of us suffer from imposter syndrome as a wedding photographer? Annie Leibovitz, one of the most renowned and influential photographers in the world, has spoken about experiencing impostor syndrome. Despite her illustrious career, which includes iconic portraits of celebrities, musicians, and political figures, Leibovitz has expressed feelings of self-doubt and the fear that her success is not entirely deserved.
In interviews, she has admitted to questioning her abilities and feeling like she is not as talented as others perceive her to be. This vulnerability is not uncommon among high-achieving individuals, particularly in creative fields such as wedding photography where personal expression and public perception play significant roles. Leibovitz’s candid discussions about her struggles with impostor syndrome highlight that even the most successful and celebrated artists can experience these feelings.
Additionally, female social conditioning promoting submission, minimising, self-effacing pleasing, posturing and deferral to the opinions of others. Adaptation of communication to account for the righteous and opinionated. Posturing ideas cautiously and deferentially with respectful wriggle room for the other. Hiding in plain sight and feeling comfortably uncomfortable.
Such ways of being have been described as traits of ‘Impostor syndrome’ and there are many other characteristics that sit alongside these including over-working, trying harder to get it right, perfectionism, procrastination, and incapacitation. Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as frauds, despite evidence of their
competence and success. People experiencing impostor syndrome often attribute their success to luck, timing, or external factors rather than their abilities or intelligence, leading to chronic self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
The Roots of Impostor Syndrome
This can stem from multifaceted personality traits such as perfectionism or a high- achieving mentality. These individuals set incredibly high standards for themselves and are often their harshest critics. Family dynamics and early childhood experiences can also play a role. For instance, if a person grows up in an
environment where achievements are highly valued or where they are frequently compared to high-achieving siblings, they may internalize the belief that they are never good enough. Societal pressures and stereotypes, particularly those related to gender, race, or socioeconomic status, can exacerbate feelings of being an impostor, especially in fields where certain groups are underrepresented.
Parenting styles play a critical role in shaping children’s self-perceptions and can contribute to the development of impostor syndrome. Impostor syndrome is characterized by persistent self-doubt and a fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evident success. The following parenting styles are particularly associated with fostering impostor syndrome in children:
- Authoritarian Parenting
- High expectations with little warmth or nurturing.
- Strict rules and harsh punishments.
- Limited autonomy for the child.
- Overprotective Parenting
- Excessive involvement in every aspect of the child’s life.
- Shielding the child from failure, risk, and disappointment.
- Constant monitoring and intervention.
- Neglectful Parenting
- Lack of attention and emotional support.
- Minimal involvement in the child’s life.
- Basic needs may be met, but emotional and social needs are neglected.
- Perfectionistic Parenting
- Unrealistically high standards and expectations.
- Emphasis on achievement and success.
- Criticism of mistakes and imperfections.
- Inconsistent Parenting
- Unpredictable responses to behaviour and achievements.
- Inconsistent rules and discipline.
- Mixed messages regarding expectations and support.
Parenting styles that contribute to impostor syndrome often involve high expectations with low emotional support, overprotection, conditional love, or neglect. To prevent the development of impostor syndrome, it is essential for parents to provide a balanced environment that combines realistic expectations with emotional support, encourages autonomy and resilience, and offers unconditional love and acceptance.
This approach helps children develop a healthy self-concept, confidence in their abilities, and a true sense of accomplishment.
Impostor syndrome manifests in various ways. People might overwork, striving to meet their own unrealistic standards, or procrastinate due to fear of failure. They might also dismiss positive feedback or attribute their achievements to factors beyond their control. This can create a vicious cycle where success leads to temporary relief but ultimately reinforces feelings of fraudulence, as they believe their façade is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain.
The impact of impostor syndrome as a wedding photographer can be profound. It can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression. It can hinder career progression, as individuals may avoid opportunities for advancement out of fear they will not measure up. It can also affect relationships, as the constant doubt and need for validation can strain interactions with colleagues, friends, and family.
Overcoming Impostor Syndrome as a Wedding Photographer Through Therapy
Acknowledging and normalizing these feelings is a crucial first step. Recognizing that many high achievers share these feelings can help reduce the sense of isolation. The psychotherapy model Transactional Analysis offers a resourceful framework to understand our need to plan time with others to feed our psychological hungers.
Our relationships are peppered with transactions that interact to feed our hungers. Such nurturing can be described as a type of recognition from one person to another and is called a ‘stroke’ and can either be negative or positive, conditional or unconditional.
A positive unconditional stroke is warm, reassuring and affirming for just being you and if conditional is equally positive for an action. We call this approval or love. A negative unconditional stroke is just the opposite; negating, toxic and annihilating for just being you, for existing or conditional for some action or factor that has been displayed or demonstrated. We call this disapproval or hate.
This has profound implications for how anybody gives feedback/strokes and will profoundly impact a person’s self-worth, confidence and esteem. Unconditional feedback is an observation or comment that does not refer to a behaviour or action; it simply references the existence of the person. So, ‘You’re kind’ is a positive unconditional stroke, their ‘kindness’ is not dependent upon anything other than the person being there. ‘You’re kind, to make me a drink.’ is a positive conditional comment as the ‘kindness’ is dependent upon the person making a drink.
Feedback or strokes are often conditional, otherwise people will draw their own conclusions about why the negative or positive comment is made and their conclusions are not always as intended by the sender.
A positive unconditional stroke is always needed and wanted, like ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re wonderful’ but a negative unconditional stroke is always toxic and destructive of the other persons inner being and full of cold, vile intensity. A negative unconditional stroke simply attacks the person and their very core of existence not their behaviour.
Parents and other adults in childhood issue strokes to each other and to their children. This process develops the stroke filter of the child and their subsequent ability to either give or receive positive or negative strokes. For example, some people are acutely embarrassed when paid a compliment or given some positive feedback, conversely some people seem only capable of criticising or attacking the efforts of others.
“They’re going to find out I’m not good at this.”, “They know I’m winging it.”, “I’m not ready.”, “I’m a fake”, “I don’t deserve to be here”, or “I’m not smart enough to be here.” “I don’t know enough”
Journal your own negative unconditional/conditional thoughts and note the frequency that you have them, to provide awareness to your own stroke filter. Becoming self-aware to your inner voice, especially the “I/You should!”, “I/You ought!” and” I/You must!” voice and the inner conversations we have with ourselves is key to driving our subsequent mood and behaviours.
Sharing this inner chat with a curious listener that hears unconditionally and openly is profoundly transformative as such positive regard dissolves the shame that drives the behaviours of impostor syndrome.
Self-awareness develops an observing self that can know that the voice in your head is not you, but an adapted part of you, and that every thought is not a fact, but perceptions gained from past experiences of other adults in childhood. From knowing ourselves this way we can then make room for positive
compassionate self-talk and so stop colluding with the negative self-talk that hurts and limits our life and well-being.
We can then make affirmative choices for ourselves or others to Give, Take, Ask For and Refuse to Give or receive positive and negative unconditional and conditional strokes.
Why Self-Expression Can Paralyse
Photographers, like many other creative professionals, can indeed suffer from impostor syndrome:
- Subjectivity of Art
Photography, like other forms of art, is highly subjective. What one person sees as a
masterpiece, another might view as mediocre. This variability in perception can
make photographers question the value and quality of their work, leading to feelings
of inadequacy and self-doubt.
- Comparisons to Others
The rise of social media and online portfolios means that photographers are
constantly exposed to the work of their peers. This can lead to unhealthy
comparisons, where photographers feel their work doesn’t measure up to the
seemingly flawless images posted by others. This can exacerbate feelings of being
an impostor, as they might believe their success is not as deserved.
- Public Critique
Photographers often share their work publicly and are subject to critique from clients,
peers, and audiences. Negative feedback, or even the absence of positive feedback,
can make them doubt their skills and creativity. Even positive comments can
sometimes be dismissed by those experiencing impostor syndrome as mere
politeness rather than genuine appreciation.
- Freelance and Gig Economy
Many photographers work as freelancers, which can be unstable and unpredictable.
The constant need to secure new gigs and prove oneself to new clients can
contribute to feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt. The irregular nature of freelance
work can make photographers feel like they are always on the edge of failure,
feeding into impostor syndrome.
- Continuous Learning and Evolving Standards
The field of photography is constantly evolving with new techniques, technologies,
and trends. Photographers may feel pressure to continuously update their skills and
stay current. This can lead to the feeling that they are always behind, never fully
mastering their craft, and thus not deserving of their success.
- Internal Criticism
Photographers, especially those who are perfectionists, may be their own harshest
critics. They may focus on their perceived flaws and shortcomings, ignoring their
successes and improvements. This internal criticism can fuel the feeling that they are
not as talented or skilled as others believe them to be.
- Validation from External Sources
Many photographers seek validation through awards, exhibitions, or client approval.
When this external validation is not forthcoming or is inconsistent, it can lead to self-
doubt. Even when recognized, they might attribute their success to luck or external
factors rather than their own talent and hard work.
Coping Strategies
To manage impostor syndrome, photographers can:
- Acknowledge and Celebrate Successes: Keep a record of positive feedback and accomplishments to remind themselves of their achievements.
- Seek Constructive Criticism: Focus on feedback that helps them improve rather than undermining their confidence.
- Build a Support Network: Connect with other photographers and creatives who can offer support and understanding.
- Self-Compassion: Accept that perfection is unattainable and that mistakes are part of the learning process.
- Set Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into manageable steps and recognize progress along the way.
Understanding that impostor syndrome is a common experience can help photographers recognize and combat these feelings, allowing them to continue developing their craft with confidence.
If you want to explore therapy with me then call me on 07880 668651 or email at hello@signaturetherapy.co.uk
Fiona Brewin Reg MBACP(Accred) UKATA
www.signaturetherapy.co.uk
